Subpoenas in Birfistan - a brief history
Subpoenas in Birfistan - a brief historical play:
Act 1 - Oily Titz scratches out her demands on a form entitled "subpoena", signs and dates said form and sends it off to the HA DOH. She then scans a copy of said document (how many layers were contained in the scan is still being debated) and posts a copy on her malware infested site.
Act 2 - Birfoons rejoice since the doors to the BC vault will finally be thrown open and their vaunted forensic experts will be allowed to verify what they already know - Obama's BC MUST be a forgery! The Birfoon parade comes to a close as Tacky yells "show me your tatas!" and Skid happily complies.(this sight causes the audience to flee the theater in search of beverages to help wash the image from their mind - impromptu intermission)
Act 3 -(dim the statge lights)- narrator informs the audience that Oily's magic "subpoena" is worthless and unenforceable. Birfoons react angrily and shout down the narrator since Oily told them she had a subpeona and they KNOW that DOH must comply or face a firing squad. BD - being especially clueless yells "who signed it". The rest of the audience responds "Orly". This back and forth chant continues for several days.
Act 4 -(scene - HA AG's Office)- a short letter is composed and mailed back to Oily informing her that because she failed to follow proper legal procedures, her "subpoena" is worthless. The AG also points out to her that the information she is requesting is protected by privacy laws.
Act 5 - Another Birfistan parade. Although they could not comprehend the first part of the AG's letter about failing to follow the rules, the Birfoons are up in arms over the "privacy law" portion of the letter. Drum circles are formed and 75 year old blended scotch is passed around.
Act 6 - After lurking on several websites, Oily realizes that the "educated ones" are correct and her first "subpoena attempt" is going nowhere. She latches on to one (of the many) errors that was pointed out to her and requests that a clerk in Hawaii provide a subpoena form and has the document delivered by a process server in Hawaii. Oily posts a scan (containing several layers) of the latest "subpoena" on her website and declares that this one is "court ordered".
Act 7 - Joy in Birfistan. The Hamm's Light flows freely.
Act 8 - back to the narrator - "sory folks - still no court order, no Judge's signature, no validity". The Birfoons react by rioting in the streets. They KNOW that there was a Court order because Oily TOLD THEM SO!
Moral of the story - "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 73 times, call me a Birfoon"
